The "Worst Disney Mom" made me get teary-eyed … in a good way!

I’m teary-eyed! 

I’m a sucker for all-things-Disney. Just tonight, I was searching for “Disney Mom Blogs” on the internet after watching a show on TV that had Disney Parks footage, and I found this post about the “World’s Worst Disney Mom”:

http://www.jennysimmons.com/blog/2014/05/07/worst-disney-world-mom-ever

It almost made me cry. But in a good way.

I have loved blogger Jenny Simmons since I first played her band, Addison Road’s songs on Air 1 radio when I was a DJ there, so it was fun to reconnect with her blog … even if she made me want to cry (you know, in a good way.)

We took our kids, ages 9 and 5 to Disney World for the first time this past January. My husband & I had honeymooned at Disney 11 years ago, so it was amazing to be back with our KIDS!! 

The grandparents (my in-laws) took us and, even though I tried to plan the trip as well as I could, I didn’t feel as “perfectly planned” as my Disney-loving sister. We both love Disney, but she’s way more organized & gifted as a planner. And she’d been with her family to Disney several times already. So I connected with Jenny on the “Worst Disney Mom” feeling.

The photos & comments at the end of Jenny’s blog post about the magical moments they had at Disney, in spite of her Disney Mom guilt & lack of planning, touched my heart because she made me remember our magical moments that we could never have orchestrated. 

I couldn’t stop thanking God for the little friend my daughter Allyson became instant BFF with in line for the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. (This is her at Epcot’s Figment ride!)

I thanked God for how amazing it was that we stood right by “the real” Anna & Elsa (minus their costumes) for the Electrical Parade…and that they helped Allyson not worry about how loud the music would be. They also told us to yell “BANANAS” and wave at Cinderella … and she waved BACK! 

I thanked God for the fellow puertorrican dressed as a Jedi at Hollywood Studios, who helped make sure my son Christopher could get in the Jedi Academy. 

And there were MANY other magical moments that it would have been impossible to plan or arrange. So I just thanked God for them, since I believe every good gift comes from Him.

Now that I’m reliving all these magical moments, I’ll have to remember to blog about my first half marathon EVER, with my high school best friend & RunDisney veteran, Liliana. It was a dream come true, to run thru Epcot and the Magic Kingdom. That was Epic!! 

For now, I’ll just thank Jenny for that old blog post she wrote for me and any other moms feeling like we lack the skills to plan a magical Disney vacation. We don’t need to worry; the magic is already there, just waiting for us. 

Speaking of waiting, as I write and remember all of these wonderful, magical memories … I’m dreaming of our next magical carpet ride back to the Magic Kingdom. 

🎶 The dreams that you wish 

will come true!🎶

For Future Moms

Here’s a thought from my twenty-something self: 

“I’d love to be a mom … someday. Right now, though, I’m LOVING life! I’ve dated some nice guys, even though I’m not sure any of them are marriage material. Not there yet. But yeah, one day, I’d like to be a mom.”

This is my 20-something self with my sister & brother at his high school graduation:

   

Life was good! Things were fun! Wow, I looked skinny! But let’s fast forward a few years.

Now here’s a thought from my thirty-something self:

“I’m a wife, mom, crazy busy, trying to fit in workouts, worried that we eat out too much, taking the kids to the library, happy that they love to read, worried that they stare at screens too much, hoping I can love my kids well, and definitely always praying for them and praying for wisdom.”

This is me on my latest thirty-something birthday:

When I think about my adventures in motherhood, I look back and wonder how much heartache I could have avoided if someone had shared with me some “mothering secrets” when I was in my 20s.

My mom was a great example. And I certainly felt prepared to be a mom in many ways, thanks to her. 

But no one prepared me for what happens between “regular woman” and “woman who had a baby.” We’re talking body changes that happen when you’re pregnant, other changes after the baby’s born, arguments with your husband about co-sleeping, breastfeeding, c-sections, VBACs, etc.

No one prepared me for that because who thinks about that stuff when you’re enjoying college and dealing with life in your 20s?

Not even during pre-marital counseling do you really dive into the topic of “what happens when you become a mom.”  

We discussed whether we both wanted kids, budgeting, dealing with the in-laws, all good things, all good things.  😉

But it would be nice if someone warned husbands-to-be during premarital counseling that their wives-to-be can get CRAYYY–ZY when they’re pregnant. 

The struggle (and the cravings) are real.

It would also be nice for girls to be better prepared for all the challenges that lie ahead for those who will be moms.

I thought, it would be cool to share some of my hard earned “mothering secrets” with college-age girls who might want to be moms someday.

Needless to say, when I was invited to speak about “Mothering” at Sparkle, an awesome college girls Bible study at Second Baptist Church Woodway Campus, I jumped at the chance! 

What happened, however, was that I ended up with a message that spoke to me almost more than what I hoped to share with the girls.

I’m sharing that message here, because maybe, just maybe, what I felt God put on my heart might be the “mothering secret” that comes in handy for you later.

Since I was speaking at a Bible study, here are the verses that went along with the topic of Mothering:
 

Proverbs 31:26, 28

26“When she speaks, her words are wise,

and she gives instructions with kindness.”

28″Her children stand and bless her.

Her husband praises her…”

We’ll come back to those verses. First, I asked the college girls to think about their “Ideal Life Plan.”
 
At what age would you like to get married?
At what age would you like to have kids & become a mom?
Do you want to be a stay at home / work from home / work outside the home mom?
 

I thought I’d get married & have kids in my mid to late 20s. 

(Side note: My mom put A LOT of pressure on after I turned 24. Why 24? That was the age she had me! And why wasn’t I married already? I needed to start having kids. STAT!) 

Yeah, that was fun. 😉
 

A few years later, I met this guy named Adam in church & we totally hit if off … as friends. Our friendship grew. Then we really hit it off! ❤️💜❤️ He proposed (in a super romantic Christmas kind of way!) We got married and went to Disney on our honeymoon. #Magical

But remember that “Ideal Life Plan”? Unexpected changes can happen.

Our “Ideal Life Plan” was: 

Wedding/Honeymoon/New apartment/Wait 5 years/Have kids.

What actually happened was:

Wedding/Honeymoon/New apartment/brain tumor/job offer/healing/pregnancy/relocation.

Did you notice the “brain tumor” part? 

Yeah, that was totally unexpected. 

But during that unsettling time, I felt like God spoke to me through a journal where I had written down Deuteronomy 7:12-15 — 

12“If you listen to these regulations and faithfully obey them, the Lord your God will keep his covenant of unfailing love with you, as he promised with an oath to your ancestors. 13He will love you and bless you, and he will give you many children. He will give fertility to your land and your animals. When you arrive in the land he swore to give your ancestors, you will have large harvests of grain, new wine, and olive oil, and great herds of cattle, sheep, and goats. 14You will be blessed above all the nations of the earth. None of your men or women will be childless, and all your livestock will bear young. 15And the Lord will protect you from all sickness. He will not let you suffer from the terrible diseases you knew in Egypt, but he will inflict them on all your enemies!”

I wrote that down in my journal, shortly after my new husband’s brain tumor surgery. We had appointments with oncologists and a neurosurgeon to follow up on a craniotomy and gamma knife surgeries.

Just a few short months after that, I re-read that journal and was blown away that God had not only healed Adam and given him a clean bill of health, but I was pregnant, we were relocating thanks to a new job offer that pretty much tripled (plus a bit extra) our current income … it was crazy!!!

I was like WHAT??? Thank you, LORD!!! Wow God!!

I was SUPER excited because I was going to be a MOM! 

Thank you, Lord, for “loving and blessing us and giving us many children!” (See Deuteronomy 7!) 

Ok, so we weren’t having many children yet. We were starting with the one. 🙂 

But I felt like this was a GREAT time in our lives to become parents. 

I was ready to be a mom. 

Adam and I both believed that God had spoken to us as we prayed through the brain tumor ordeal, the job offer, the relocation. We prayed, prayed, prayed, prayed and prayed some more.

We both had peace and saw God provide in miraculous ways. Everything we needed, God provided. When things went great and when the road got bumpy, we kept turning to the Lord, praying, and seeing Him move. 

We had moved away from family for our first baby. Yet somehow, with a new job in a new town and a new church, we ended up with THREE baby showers and surrounded by more love than we had ever expected from people who had been strangers just a few months before.

Wow God.

I was ready to go into labor and get this mom thing officially started. I couldn’t wait to meet my little boy, Christopher! Come on, already!!

But here comes the “Ideal Life Plan Can Get Messed Up” thing again.

Remember that the unexpected can happen? Yeah, my all-natural, beautiful, non-medicated, drug-free birth turned into an emergency c-section after about 26 hours of labor and a rush of medical people in our hospital room, frantically trying to find Christopher’s heartbeat and wondering why my blood pressure was dropping so low.

I was not ready to be a mom like that!

But there I was, shaking (cuz that happens after birth), trying to nurse my infant, recover from a c-section and start this “mom thing.” 

It was definitely a rocky start.

It felt like I kind of limped forward a little each day (when in my mind, I was going to kick off this new mom life with more of a joyful, glowing sprint.)

My hubby and I did our best. We prayed. We made mistakes. We tried again. We lost our temper. We forgave each other. We tried to stay close as a couple, at the same time that this adorable baby boy Christopher was consuming almost every waking moment! 

Since those early “first mom” days, God has blessed us with our daughter Allyson and I have continued to grow as a mom.

I wish my 20-something self knew then even a fraction of what would lie ahead; both the mom-things you can prepare for and how to deal with the unexpected.

I can’t go back in time and do that. 

But I did share with my Sparkle college girls.

(And since you’re reading my blog -thanks!- I’m sharing with you, too!)

The three most meaningful “mothering secrets” I have learned are:

1. Grow closer to God
2. Grow closer to your husband (2become1)
3. Build a strong community

This is where we revisit those Bible verses: Proverbs 31:26 and 28.
 
First, as you grow closer to God, you’ll find that the source of all Wisdom and Kindness loves you and is here with you. He can give you all the wisdom and kindness you need to be a mom.

Wisdom comes especially handy when it comes to making decisions like staying home with the baby or going back to work; what to do with your budget; etc…

Kindness is much needed, especially when you want to throw the remote control at that cute framed picture you hung on the wall because your precious little infant will not … stop…crying…and…you… can’t … take … it.

God can fill you with kindness when you need it most.

Second, as you grow closer to your husband, you will be stronger together to handle all the changes that come with being a mom (and being a dad!) 
 
Like God’s word tells us, a three-strand cord is not easily broken.

You’ll find, like Proverbs 31:28 says, as you grow closer to your hubby, you’ll discover that “her husband praises her” will be a dream come true. How could your future hubby not praise you, his wife, when you are a three-strand cord, not easily broken, and you are a godly woman, filled with God’s wisdom and kindness? It works!

Finally, as you build a strong community, you will find that being a mom is way better when you are surrounded by people who love you and your new little family.

Adam and I had moved from our home, Puerto Rico (where we had a seemingly endless supply of family and friends), to California (where we knew one family because they were friends with my sister.) That was it.

Surprisingly, in a short amount of time, I got to know my co-workers and we made amazing friends at our new church. 

Not only did we make new friends for life (and had built-in friends for playdates for Christopher through our friends’ kids), but we had support during the pregnancy (3 baby showers!) 

We also had help finding support to help me recover both physically and emotionally from a c-section through ICAN, the International Cesarean Awareness Network. (It really is a thing! And God used them to change my life.)

Another benefit of community is what Proverbs 31:28 says about how children will bless their mom.

It’s easy to see how your children will bless you as their mom when you build a loving, caring community for them. When you have people around you to gather and celebrate each other’s baby showers, births, birthdays … and you have people to help and pray for you when things get difficult, your children will bless you for that.

I wish someone had told me, when I was a college student, how hard some parts of mothering would be. Leaving your 6 WEEK old infant to go to back work was unbearable.

There are many parts of mothering that are hard. Really, really hard. 

Even now, I still regularly feel guilty. I feel like I’m not a good mom. Many moms feel that way (at least the ones I’ve talked to.)

But as I prepared to share about “mothering” with the awesome Sparkle Bible Study girls, I felt like God spoke to me. (I actually wasn’t expecting that!)

As I read Proverbs 31, prayed and sought God to see what HE wanted me to share, He left me with my jaw on the floor, as I realized that:

I have a husband who praises me.
My children bless me (they’re huge blessings!) 
I have wisdom on tap! (And I need it 24/7)
I’m growing in kindness more each day (and I need to keep growing)
 
And I have direct access to the source of everything I need. 

The amazing thing is, YOU can have all this, too.

As a Sparkle college girl, a future mom, a 20-something hopeful for the future, you can take those “mothering secrets” with you.

Grow closer to God each day.

Grow closer to your hubby (eventually.) 😉

And build a strong community of family and friends.

You will have what you will need as a mom. And for your life.

Thank You, Lord. 🙏🏻❤️

Rolling in the coaches t-shirt!

Today my 8 year old son Christopher made his first touchdown … during his first ever flag football game! 

Go Wolfpack!! 

I am a very proud and excited mom, but it’s not just because my little San Francisco 49er Colin Kaepernick superfan made a touchdown (wooohooo!!) It’s because this Upward flag football experience is giving him a level of bonding with his dad that I had never seen before.

Baby Christopher was my firstborn; a very sleepy, very smiley, very sweet, very mami’s boy. Like we say in Puerto Rico, “el nene de mama.”

In some ways, the way Christopher expressed his preference for mommy over daddy hurt my husband. I tried to explain that was in part because I was baby food for a number of months. 

(As a side note, breastfeeding was a wonderful bonding, healing experience, especially because after his birth I struggled with postpartum depression and returning to work was challenging. Nursing my baby helped me feel like I was truly caring for him in the best way possible, even while I was away.)

Regardless, it still bothered both my husband & me that Christopher wasn’t closer to him as a baby and as a toddler. Friends and counselors told us that eventually Christopher would have a great father/son relationship. 

So we waited. 

Adam bought Christopher Lego sets and they built them together.

Adam let Christopher watch part of the UFC fights that made mommy cringe.

Adam encouraged Christopher through years of taekwondo classes and belt tests all the way to the black belt he earned just a few months ago! 

And slowly but surely, daddy saw his son’s eyes turn to him wide with excitement. All of a sudden, Daddy was going to teach him all the fun boy stuff!! 

Daddy is the best buddy for football video games AND for playing football outside our apartment. Daddy couldn’t contain his excitement (or his wallet) when he signed Christopher up for flag football and ended up getting not just the cleats, but cool new socks, gloves, a new ball and a duffle bag! 

In just two weeks of practice and the very first game today, Christopher has gone from tv/video game football superfan, to going out on the field with Daddy as assistant coach and hustling his little heart out.

And to take it an extra yard or two, THIS happens:

Daddy got an official coach shirt! Adam is filling in for the coach next Saturday and Christopher’s reaction was so amazing, it inspired me to write this blog post.

Christopher grabbed Adam’s coach shirt, carefully laid it out on the bed, and called me to come see it. He ran his hands over it, showing off his Daddy’s Coach shirt with a deep sense of pride and admiration. He stretched it to take out the wrinkles. And then he laid down on it, almost snuggling as if it was a cozy blanket.

I needed to blog about this moment because it’s one of those as a mom I don’t want to forget.

The moment I saw Christopher laying on Daddy’s coach’s shirt was the moment I realized that this is just a glimpse of the life-long, incredible impact that his Daddy is having on him. 

I’m so thankful. I couldn’t ask for a better answer to prayer for my hubby and our son’s relationship than this beautiful football bonding. 🏈💙🏈💙

~Coppe

Make my wish come true …!

No, it’s not too early. And this is only the beginning of …

… the MOST wonderful time of the year!

Today is Day 1 of the 101 Days to Christmas countdown! 

But I’m not just going to post elf memes & go crazy buying stuff. What I love about this countdown is that, when all is said & done, you can look back and feel like you truly celebrated the real meaning of Christmas. 

If you’re like me, you know the feeling of rushing to buy last minute gifts & getting annoyed at crowded stores because you have been too busy with family visits & church events & school gatherings & shopping & gift wrapping & you never got to sit down with a peppermint hot chocolate & enjoy anything & the whole thing was just a blur? 

I discovered the awesome website (www.101daystoChristmas.com) a couple of years ago. As much as I love the holidays, some times I would wait to decorate because I was too busy. Or I’d hold back from doing things I love like ice skating at the park, buying new decorations or splurging on certain gifts because I hadn’t really budgeted for it.

The countdown helps each day, starting today (yay!) with helpful tips & ideas to plan ahead, think through traditions and make sure you plan, schedule and budget what’s important to you. 

When was the last time you made time to think about this ahead of time?

“All I want for Christmas is … “

Think about it. Sign up for daily reminders on the countdown website. Dream & anticipate that this could be a truly special Christmas. 

🎶 Make my wish come true … all I want for Christmas is you! 🎶

http://youtu.be/sWEfszb9h8Q

~Coppelia

Dancing with the Scars

What I saw on TV last night was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen.

In general, we avoid dealing with any imperfection, delay or disability. It’s uncomfortable. We ignore, look away, or smile out of pity.

But every now & then, a person with disabilities shows up and changes everything. Gold medal snowboarder Amy Purdy, and her professional dance partner Derek Hough did that last night on ABC’s Dancing with the Stars.

I’d seen the show before, but hadn’t watched it in a long time. Since I wasn’t feeling well, I was zonked out on the couch & just left the TV on, half paying attention.

I am so glad I did!

I have experienced this a few times in my life. People with disabilities have impacted my life in many ways. But Amy and Derek took it to a new level.

I have seen my Dad, Emilio, gradually lose his sight. He lost the ability to drive a car when I was younger. He struggled with maintaining jobs and battled disappointment and loss. But he danced with me at my prom (its a puertorrican thing…families go to the prom!) He gave me away at my wedding. He relocated from Puerto Rico to Dallas, TX in his 60s and is actively pursuing job opportunities. He’s involved in church. And he continues to hone his conservatory classical music training on his grand piano. Plus, I’ve seen my Mom stay by his side through it all. Amazing.

In 4th grade, I met my friend Cristina. She had a glass eye and could barely see with ger “good eye”. But Crissy’s parents saw her & treated her as a normal girl. She rode her bike. We went to the movies & always sat in the front! We had a BLAST on church retreats to the beach in Vieques, went bowling, you get the idea. She’s now a married teacher with two boys in Austin, TX.

From a young age, I saw disability as something that didn’t have to hold you back from doing whatever you wanted.

A few years ago, my husband and I relocated from Puerto Rico to California. While working at a radio event at a mall in Temecula, I had the amazing, life altering experience of watching Nick Vujicic live. 

He was born without limbs. Talk about having special needs and challenges. He shared about his unbelievably difficult life. How do you do anything if you don’t have arms and legs?

Just ask Nick! He travels the world. He uses a special weelchair, and then gets out of it and goes on stage in front of millions of people to inspire them. He is an impossibility. But God says nothing is impossible for Him! Nick shares how, if God has helped him, no matter what we may go through, God can help us, too.

This all brings me to what I saw on TV last night.

I had not heard of Amy Purdy until last night. She had bacterial meningitis as a teen. She lost both of her legs and ended up with a kidney transplant. Her dad was the donor.

Then, she won three World Cup gold medals in adaptive snowboarding. Amazing!! 

So, she can snowboard, but could she dance? 

For this week’s choreography, she got special prosthetic legs that keep the feet pointed, so she could dance.

And she danced … and her partner Derek, sweetly, gently, led her in the most beautiful, awe-inspiring, tear-jerking dance I have ever seen.

The song was “Human” by Christina Perri. And Derek and Amy showed us that you can transcend the limits we sometimes put on what a “human” can do.

A Fall Surprise in Spring!

You should’ve seen his face! 

Well, ok, this is his face, but I wish you could’ve seen my eight-year-old son Christopher’s initial reaction!! 

We stopped at Starbucks for a little Saturday afternoon treat, and he saw something he didn’t expect to see for another, oh, 5 or 6 months!!

Today is March 30th. We’re a week into spring. The temperature has to rise another 20 to 30 degrees and hit 100 in the summer before it starts to cool down again in the fall and we can all enjoy pumpkin spice treats. 

Except that today, my son, who loves pumpkin scones, looked at the food options today at Starbucks and saw one!!

When I ordered it, the barista looked at me like, “Ma’am? You realize it’s Spring. We don’t have (glances at the food section) OH! Ok, I guess we do have pumpkin scones! What would you like with that?”

 Lol! I had to laugh!!

Sometimes we get unexpected treats at the “wrong time”. Or in the wrong season. We can be adamant about things being “impossible”, so we don’t even dare to ask.

What if we could get a treat that we are not supposed to get because it’s not the right time yet? 

God says in the Bible, ask and you shall receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened.

Why not knock? You might just get a pumpkin scone in the spring!

~Coppe